Reaching Beyond the Pain...

My day is almost gone and still no word from Chris. Almost two weeks and counting...I know he is busy and taking care of business but it is still difficult to handle. Sure, we got a virtual heartbeat from seeing his fingerprints on Facebook but that's not the same as hearing his voice. I don't know about you but I struggle with these raw emotions that linger in the shadows...and then step forward without warning. Most days I fight them off...but not always...sometimes they get the best of me...today was one of those days.

That was my day...until I read the article below. Before you read it, take a moment and reread my earlier blog by clicking here. This will provide the context and set the stage...

Then sit back and read how Pvt. Jocelyn Milo is reaching beyond the pain...and I thought my day was difficult. I am humbled by this story...it has caused me to pause and adjust my attitude, my thoughts and drive on. This story will stick with me for quite some time...

Tell me what you think, won't you? Then again, maybe you had a day like I did...

Union City Soldier Reports After Burying Husband

By Jason Sweeney, STAFF WRITER

HAYWARD— Jocelyn Milo was in the barracks packing her duffel bag when her drill sergeant said to follow her downstairs. Milo, a 21-year-old Union City native, was a day away from completing Army basic training and shipping out to an advanced individual training course at Fort Lee, Va. She thought maybe she was being called downstairs to discuss her orders to Fort Lee, where she would train to be a petroleum supply specialist.

Jocelyn Milo followed her drill sergeant downstairs and entered the command and quarters office, where she was informed that her husband, Spc. Avealalo Milo, had been killed in action on Oct. 4 in Baghdad.

"All they told me was that he was shot and killed by small-arms fire. That's all they knew. That's all I still know," she said.

Her company commander did not think she could participate in her graduation ceremony, but she decided to walk in honor of her husband.

She is now on indefinite leave from the Army, staying with her grandfather in Union City.

The couple had married only four days before Jocelyn had left for boot camp. On July 18, they had driven to the courthouse in downtown Oakland and tied the knot.

Boot camp had been challenging for Jocelyn, but not overly so. She had met new people from around the country and experienced new things. "Everybody has their own experience, but for me it was too easy," she said.

It was Avealalo, 23, who had talked her into joining up. The Milos met in November 2004 at the Wal-Mart in Union City. She was a cashier; he loaded trucks in the back. "At first, he was shy," she said. They started seeing each other and something clicked. "He was happy.

The smallest things that people don't pay attention to are what meant most to him — like going for a walk down the street, going to the park, just getting out of the house," she said. They could have fun in each other's company without spending money — just talking, hanging out, joking around.

"He liked to talk about the beautiful beaches in Samoa," she said. Avealalo grew up in American Samoa, the home of his family. But he was drawn to the economic opportunity of California and moved to Hayward in August 2003, where his uncle lives.

Economic opportunity didn't come easy. "He had some hard times," Jocelyn said. "He was job-hopping and having financial problems."

Avealalo joined the Army in the summer of 2005. "I didn't want him to, but I supported him. The night before he went to basic training, he proposed," Jocelyn said.

After basic, he was sent to Fort Lewis, Wash., for advanced infantry training. Jocelyn visited him there. "He liked the Army. He said it was an experience. He liked the idea of traveling. That's pretty much all he shared with me."

Avealalo shipped out to Germany with the 2nd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division. This was no support unit, but combat arms.

While he was back in town on leave, he finally convinced Jocelyn to sign up and join the Army. "He knew I was struggling here on my own. He talked to me about joining over a period of time. I pretty much gave in. I just wanted to meet him halfway in life, be on the same page, pretty much see what he saw."

When they first learned that he was deploying to Iraq, they didn't talk much about it. He was scared, not for himself but "because he didn't know what would happen here on my side, and that he just couldn't get up and leave."

She last spoke to her husband from the airport in Atlanta right before going into boot camp. He was still in the Bay Area on leave. Then she was in boot camp while he was in Baghdad.

A wake for Spc. Avealalo Milo will begin at 7 p.m. Thursday at Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church in Union City. Jocelyn will leave Oct. 21 for American Samoa, where she will meet her husband's parents for the first time. Avealalo will be buried in his native land on Nov. 1.

After the funeral in Samoa is done and she returns home to Union City, Jocelyn plans to report to Fort Lee for her advanced individual training course.

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Reaching beyond the pain...pretty telling of the type of people who wear the uniform of the U.S. Army, eh? There is always a story within a story as we continue this journey...

Chris, I love you buddy. We will stay strong - and continue to pray for you and your fellow warriors. Be safe!

v/r,
- Collabman